Growth Begins When We Embrace Our Shadows

Embrace your light and your dark.

A common misconception about healing is the idea that in order to find transformation, you have to expel the darkness. While there is truth behind this, it really stems from the idea that you don’t want to wallow in your shadow and forget to bring in the light. However, ignoring or failing to acknowledge the deeper, darker parts of ourselves means we are only embracing half of our story. Light was born from the void of darkness. Our transformation is born from the acceptance and honoring of our shadow selves.

Welcome to Duality

We live in a dimension of duality, and this means that light does not exist without dark. Our stories are meaningful because they encompass the full light spectrum, and for us to truly alchemize our experiences into wisdom, we have to trust that all parts of that story deserve space to come to the surface. As humans, we relate best when we are able to connect with similar struggles to overcome, obstacles to face, and challenges to rise above. When you step into courage and share the unglamorous parts of your journey, you open a portal of transformation and expansion that resonates far beyond your own being.

Light and shadow work together to form a full picture, a complete existence. As you weave together all parts of yourself, you create a beautiful tapestry that tells your story in a powerful and meaningful way. You give permission to others to do the same, and you begin to heal yourself and those around you through this brave act of authenticity. Your story deserves to live in all its fullness.

Honor your shadow and embrace your light. You are whole.

A Chapter of My Story

I recently celebrated five years sober. If you asked the version of Faith from six years ago if she’d ever be honoring a milestone like that, the answer would have been a big fat no. Goes to show you what some willpower and consistency can produce over time. My sobriety journey started because I woke up one morning absolutely fucking sick of my own bullshit and finally decided I had enough. Then and there I decided I was now a person who didn’t drink or do drugs. That was it. I don’t say this to make light of the situation or to shame anyone else who struggles with addiction, but rather to highlight that in my particular reality, I just had to stop creating the shitstorm that was perpetuating all the nonsense. If you’ve ever gotten to the point where you’re truly and utterly exhausted from your self-imposed cycles, you know how powerful it can be to just . . . stop. I acknowledge that experiences with substance abuse are vast and varied, and I can only share my story and my perspective.

For me, sobriety looked like isolation, rigid routines, lots of self-care, and needing to control external circumstances as much as I had the power to. This made me feel like I was in charge, like I was responsible, and like I finally had life all figured out. Like I was healed. The addicted version of Faith was unstable, unreliable, and definitely wounded, and I wanted to be everything that was the opposite of that to prove that she didn’t exist anymore. But by not honoring her existence, I did myself a disservice. I hid her away instead of asking her what she needed and then giving that to her. I made her feel guilty and unloved. I created a whole new set of stories about how badly she behaved and all the wrong things she did. She became the villain in my story.

Sure, maybe she was a bit out of control at times, but she was also fun and she was free and she was fierce. And she's been hiding for far too long. It's time to stop punishing her and let her be the beautiful, unique being she is. As this year begins to wind down, I have realized that I’ve been tucking away essential parts of myself. And how can I preach authenticity when I’m not showing who I am, fully and proudly? I am stepping into a more embodied version of myself—one who is as playful as she is hardworking, one who embraces her sassy sarcasm, one who is knowledgeable, trustworthy, and professional but also makes mistakes and is constantly learning and growing. I am many things, and I am proud of those things. It’s time to love them wholly and let Faith exist in the entirety of her true essence.

Bringing Your Story to Light

What are the emotions you’re avoiding? Without judgment or expectation, write the first three emotions that feel uncomfortable for you—these are probably the ones you’ve been hesitating to sit with. Make yourself a big cup of hot tea, light your favorite candle, and grab a cozy blanket. After you’ve taken a few deep breaths to center yourself and align with your intuition, explore these emotions on paper. Jot down words, phrases, or images that come to mind when you call up these feelings. You don’t have to analyze or alchemize right now. Just acknowledge. For today, that is perfectly enough.

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